Real "Life" Job Performance Evaluations

- He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.

- I would like to go hunting with him sometime.

- He's been working with glue too much.

- He would argue with a signpost.

- He has a knack for making strangers immediately.

- He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

- When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

- If you see two people talking, and one looks bored, he's the other one.

- A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

- A prime candidate for Natural de-Selection.

- He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.

- Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not allow this employee to breed.

- This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

- He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.

- He's got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

- A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

- Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

- Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

- If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

- If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

- If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans.

- It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

- One neuron short of a Synapse.

- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.

- Takes him 1.5 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

- The wheel is still turning, but the hamster is dead.

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