They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up$46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again...same scenario! I departed the store with the$46.64.............

...They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get- one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free."
"They're already buy-one-get- one-free" , she said, "so I guess they're both free."
She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.............

...They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends
when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"............

...They Walk Among Us!


While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."..........

...They Walk Among Us!!


I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh,Pacific."............

...They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.............

...They Walk Among Us!


My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.............

...They Walk Among Us!


I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now,"she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"............

...They Walk Among Us!



While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."............

...Yep, They Walk Among Us!

They Walk Among Us, AND they reproduce, and WORST OF ALL............................they VOTE!


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Job Interview Etiquette

We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly.

But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. The lowlights:

- "...stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

- "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."

- "A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

- "...asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate." {Come on, we've ALL thought this!!!! Especially those hired by the government drones.....lol}

- "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve."

- "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

- "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions."

- "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."

- "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left." {Can we say, eeeewwwww!}

- "...pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

- "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

- "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."

- "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."

- "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: 'Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?' I said, 'I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further.' He promptly responded, 'I am as long as you'll pay me more.' I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."

- "His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume."

- "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

- "...asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security."

- "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch, and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."

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Real "Life" Job Performance Evaluations

- He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.

- I would like to go hunting with him sometime.

- He's been working with glue too much.

- He would argue with a signpost.

- He has a knack for making strangers immediately.

- He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

- When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

- If you see two people talking, and one looks bored, he's the other one.

- A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

- A prime candidate for Natural de-Selection.

- He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.

- Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not allow this employee to breed.

- This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

- He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.

- He's got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

- A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

- Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

- Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

- If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

- If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

- If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans.

- It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

- One neuron short of a Synapse.

- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.

- Takes him 1.5 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

- The wheel is still turning, but the hamster is dead.

{Love Arcamax Jokes....want a daily laugh? Free newsletter. Just sign up and the giggles will come to you DAILY! Arcamax }

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Foibles of Life

Has it ever been used?????

It's a Love~Hate relationship!




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