Old Age is a gift

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first
time in my life, the person I have
always wanted to be. Oh, not my
body! I sometime despair over my
body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes,
and the sagging butt. And often I am
taken aback by that old person that
lives in my mirror (who looks like my
mother!), but I don't agonize over
those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends,
my wonderful life, my loving family for
less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've
aged, I've become more kind to myself,
and I am less critical of myself. I've
become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that
extra cookie, or for not making my bed,
or for buying that silly cement gecko that
I didn't need, but looks so avante garde
on my patio. I am entitled to a treat,
to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave
this world too soon; before they understood
the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play
on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful
tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time,
wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is
stretched over a bulging body, and will dive
into the waves with abandon if I choose to,
despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, [with luck] will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there
again, some of life is just as well forgotten.
And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been
broken. How can your heart not break when
you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers,
or even when somebody's beloved pet gets
hit by a car?

But broken hearts are what give us strength
and understanding and compassion. A heart
never broken is pristine and sterile and will
never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to
have my hair turning grey, and to have my
youthful laughs be forever etched into deep
grooves on my face. So many have never
laughed, and so many have died before their
hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive.
You care less about what other people think.
I don't question myself anymore. I've even
earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old.
It has set me free. I like the person I have become.
I am not going to live forever, but while I am
still here, I will not waste time lamenting what
could have been, or worrying about what will be.
And I shall eat dessert every single day.

(If I feel like it)

~Author Unknown~


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