God's Voice Mail

Most of us have now learned to
live with voice mail as a necessary
part of our lives.

Have you ever wondered what
it would be like if God decided
to install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing
the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following
options:

Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and
Saints are busy helping other
sinners right now.

However, your prayer is important
to us and we will answer it in
the order it was received.
Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has
been assigned to heaven press 5,
then enter his social security #
followed by the pound sign.

(If you receive a negative response,
please hang up and dial area code 666)

For reservations to heaven,
please enter JOHN followed
by the numbers, 3 16.

For answers to nagging questions
about dinosaurs, life and other
planets, please wait until you
arrive in heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you
have already been prayed for today,
please hang up and call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the
weekend to observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and
need emergency assistance, please
contact your local pastor.

Thank you and have a heavenly day.

† † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † †

While this makes us laugh....been there
and experienced that.....isn't it a relief
that God will never treat us this way?

That whenever we need HIM, HE is
there! He is just a short prayer away!

C~B~N

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