Words of Navajo Wisdom

About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface.

Along with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full Lunar spacesuits. Nearby a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by personnel.

The two Navajo people were noticed and approached by the NASA personnel. Since the man did not know English, his son asked for him what the strange creatures were and the NASA people told them that they are just men that are getting ready to go to the moon.

The man became very excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. The NASA personnel thought this was a great idea so they rustled up a tape recorder.

After the man gave them his message, they asked his son to translate. His son would not. Later, they tried a few more people on the reservation to translate and every person they asked would chuckle and then refuse to translate.

Finally, with cash in hand, someone translated the message, "Watch out for these guys, they come to take your land."

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The Meaning of Service

{Ok, this one made me laugh!}

At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service."

"It's the act of doing things for other people."

Then I heard these terms which reference the word service:
Internal Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City & County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations

Then I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.

So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows.

Suddenly, it all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are all about.

I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.

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NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT FOUND !!

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named *Governmentium*.

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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I'm a Bad American!

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I VOTE.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid
level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer; it makes you a smart
American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does
not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac; try to do it in English.




I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.





I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment
than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the
bill to put your pansy a~~ through 4 years plus of college, you haven't
begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where
they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever
cancelled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know w wrestling is fake, and I don't waste my time arguing about it.





I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now,
when I'm freezing my a~~ off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?









I've never owned a slave, or was a slave. I didn't wander forty years In
the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any
witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So,
shut up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of
the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry a~~ if you're
running from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your a~~ over if you're
breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver’s license. I
think it's good.....and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want
you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world
for the next four years.








I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me
junk or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause.
These people should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
parents.

And what the he~~ is going on with gas prices... again?













If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.

We need our country back




Formerly attributed to comedian George Carlin but have found out he did not write this! (But he should have...) Read it here: Snopes

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CRIME

I love jokes! I love the sensation of a good jolly laugh. Jokes are a

wonderful way to get that laughing going! This joke comes via the

Arcamax joke a day ezine. If interested, you can subscribe here:

Arcamax

Crime

Late one night in Washington D.C. a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped

into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me

your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You

can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"

"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Updated New

The Senate is investigating deceptive
sweepstakes practices. These companies
target the elderly and make them think
they will receive a bunch of money, but in
reality they never see any of it. The most
popular of these scams is called

Social Security.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Come on I KNOW you're laughing!!

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